Deirdre Geraghty

I am struggling a bit this morning. I do have things todo but somehow my back pain which is present much of the time is preoccupying me and I don’t seem to be getting on with things. Never mind!

One of my very dear friends Z that I haven’t seen for a while visited today. She brought jam doughnuts which was yummy. It was lovely to see her but I eventually ran out of things to say… until next time!

I have been watching Trevor Phillips on Sky News. They have been discussing the case where the Judge let off the young boys who had raped the young girls without any care for the victims. They had filmed it and put it online. Disgusting!

Well it looks like my family are all talking again – we have called a truce! It all feels so much better. Phew!

I’m having problems publishing this one.

I have been waiting for the District Nurse who was coming to do a blood test during the week. I phoned Friday afternoon and got Andy the AI chatbot thingy. Eventually it put me through but it was a bad line. So I rang again. Of course I was right back at the start with the chatbot thing. I wasn’t so patient this time. It said triage to discuss it. I lost my temper and started to say bloody hell. I changed it to blimey and it put me through. Apparently the blood test would be done they just can’t say when…

I do like Sir Keir Starmer who has been criticised by the right wing media from day one. I like and respect him as a Prime Minister. I also like Andy Burnham and will see what happens. I am happy to listen to the majority and, as a Labour Party Member I would vote accordingly, if it comes to that. It is said that the Prime Minister doesn’t have charisma – well look at previous Prime Ministers who did and the terrible things that they have done. Remember what you wish for!

There’s people on this planet that you don’t really expect much from but there’s others who really let you down. Sometimes over and over again. That really hurts. They obviously condone what went down. So l can’t sleep again tonight. If they really cared then they wouldn’t continue to hurt me this much. Thank goodness for my son who tells me to try and not let it get to me. I really miss my dear friend F who died a few years ago. Every time I was hurt the two of them would pick me up and love me unquestionably and unconditionally. No matter what had happened or been said we would discuss it like human beings and not leave the problems to fester. Real down to earth honest conversation. I have been here so many times over the past 75 years, over and over again. Pain City!

I think it was 1966 or thereabouts when one of my big sisters took me to the seaside – Eastbourne l think – for the weekend. We booked into a b & b. It was all a bit of an eye opener. I remember her dragging me kicking and screaming – well protesting – into a Chinese restaurant which changed my thinking on food quite a lot. Since then I have really enjoyed lots of different foods but Chinese is my favourite. I must thank her sometime. And my introduction into Italian – well I think that was down to her too….

Just thinking: when I was a teenager a sign was put on my bedroom door – Deird the Weird – apparently because I liked wholemeal bread and rice for my dinner. I was also perverted because I enjoyed watching a male ballet dancer on the television dancing in leotard and tights which was apparently obscene. Nothing has really changed. Or maybe it has!

Over and over again throughout life I have been left out. I used to think it was because I was overweight but I don’t think so. If I am only tolerated because of my mental illness then maybe I am not a very nice person. But my friends are telling me the opposite. I think that I will just keep myself to myself.